October 5,
2003; 17 Pentecost B
The Rev. Dr. Hilary B. Smith
"Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner'." It is not good to be alone. From the beginning, God knew that we would need companionship. The story of creation attributes the existence of all creatures to a human need for helpers. We cannot stand on our own. To be human is to be in relationship with the earth, animals, and with each other.
The Genesis account of creation is a story about the importance of relationships. God has a preference for community. Community cannot exist without compassion and forgiveness. A bit later in Genesis, in the story of Cain and Abel, we see how destructive humans can be when anger and jealously override love and take away compassion.
We see God's preference for community and compassion made manifest in the life of Jesus-in what he says and in what he does. In our gospel reading, the Pharisees come to test Jesus. "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" They were not seeking knowledge. The Pharisees knew the law well. "Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and divorce her." Jesus acknowledges that they know the law, but do they know what is in the heart of God? Jesus says, "But from the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.' Quoting from Genesis, Jesus focuses on God's intention that people should be in community. Men and women who marry are united in such a way that they are no longer two but one flesh. The imagery and language that Jesus uses shows that one cannot understand marriage in legal terms. God has joined these people together.
One of my favorite moments in the marriage ceremony occurs when I, as the priest, say, "Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder." I say it loudly with great hope for the couple's future. It is my sincere prayer. The reality is that a percentage of the marriages that I perform will not last. Yet, I have never known anyone who wanted to get a divorce. In most cases, divorce comes after the marriage is long over. The church used to treat divorced persons badly-not allowing them remarry in the church building for example. Thankfully, those days are over, and the church now offers compassion to those who are grieving the end of a relationship.
I've gone through a divorce, though I've never been married. Like many people of my generation, my parents are divorced. It was sad; I was seven. It took time and counseling for me to work through the pain and anger. As difficult as divorce is, God can bring new life to all concerned. My stepmother, Zita, is now one of my best friends. She and my Dad had a daughter, my sister Miranda. Miranda is now a sophomore in college. We are very close. I cannot imagine life without Zita and Miranda. God has a preference for community, and God will bring it about no matter what the circumstances are in which we find ourselves.
In the Genesis account, we hear that a man clings to his wife. He clings to her; he won't let her go; she means everything to him. They are united; they will face the future together, come what may. That same verb-to cling-is used in the story of Ruth and Naomi found in the Book of Ruth. Ruth was Naomi's daughter-in-law. Naomi's husband and sons died. Naomi could not provide for Ruth, and tells Ruth to go back to her own people. But Ruth would not let the relationship end. The scripture tells us that she clings to Naomi and says: "Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God."
Naomi did not expect Ruth to stay with her; the cultural conventions of their time considered such a move to be foolish. We learn later in the story that Ruth is to be an ancestor of King David, which was possible because she stayed with Naomi. Ruth displays qualities of loyalty and devotion that mirror the faithfulness of God. God acts in the lives of these women to create community. God acts in our lives to create meaningful relationships as well.
In the marriage ceremony, when I say, "[t]hose whom God has joined together let no one put asunder," it is a special prayer for those being married. I also think about the people whom God has brought in to my life. I think about my family, friends, and my church community. "the Lord God said: 'It is not good that man should be aloneÉ.'" No one here today will ever have to be alone. God has joined us together; we are here for each other. Through Jesus Christ, God clings to each of us with an enduring love. Amen.